january 12, 1951 - august 4, 2010
at 6:43 a.m. on august 4, i received a phonecall from my mom who was spending the weekend in st. george with my niece. thinking she was accidentally calling me, i sleepily hit the ignore button and went back to sleep. i heard the beep saying i had a voicemail, so i listened. "brielle, its mom. call me back as soon as possible." i could tell she was crying, so i immediately started to panic. i thought dad was back in the hospital, or worse. i don't know why, but it didn't even register to me that it could be uncle james.
ya see, my dad's older brother, james, has been sick for about 15 years. he has had all sorts of lung problems and it even got so bad he had to move from his home in wayne county to somewhere with lower elevation because his lungs couldn't handle the air. on july 27, he was riding his 4-wheeler on soldier summit (and the question in my mind right now is... why? the man was on oxygen... what was he thinking going 4-wheeling?) the atv flipped and landed on him, breaking some ribs and doing enough damage to land him in the hospital. we've had so many close calls with james and have said our final goodbyes so many times, that everyone thought this time was just like the others. he was doing great, and was scheduled to be released from the hospital on august 4.
when my mom told me over the phone that my uncle james had coded early that morning and they weren't able to revive him, i think i went into shock. i'm the kind of person that it takes a while for big news to set in, so it didn't become real for me until the morning of his funeral. it was on august 7, the day of our big turner family reunion that uncle james himself had been planning. i hadn't shed a tear until the point i was walking through the line, hugging all my cousins that don't remember me, and i got to my aunt corinne who was standing right next to my sweet uncle's casket. she hugged me so tight and whispered in my ear, "he loved you so much. you were his little breezy."
i lost control. i broke down right then and there. all the great memories of my uncle james came flooding back and i realized... he's gone. i'm never going to see him in this life ever again. he's not going to come order a combination pizza from me at work and expect me to deliver it to his truck. he's not going to give me those big hugs and a scratchy mustache kiss on the cheek. i'm not going to hear him coming from a mile away because of his oxygen. he'll never call me breezy or say i love you in his gruff, but loving voice.
its hard to carry on, but knowing what i know about eternal families and life after death, i think we'll all be alright down here a little while without him. he was an amazing man and i will definitely miss him, but i know that the moment his spirit left his body, grandma, grandpa, jd, and dustin were all there to see him. i can only imagine the absolute joy he felt seeing his boys after living so long without them, and i know that he is up in heaven making big plans for the family reunion we're all gonna have when we get there. (:
i love you, uncle james. please tell loa grandma hi & give her one of your scratchy mustache kisses for me. (:
love, breezy.
No comments:
Post a Comment